Words for the wise from the mouth of a fool.
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Saturday, September 20, 2003
Whiling away the hours playing blackjack with celebrity impersonators just got easier! Check it out:
1. Say Blackjack. You start when the dealer offers your first card.
2. Say Yes for another card, or No to stay.
3. Say New Dealer to switch from the Sean Connery impersonator to country-style Blackjack with Billy Joe Bob.
Oh yeah--there's a phone number you have to dial first. (via J-Walk)
My favorite part is that it will tell you how to get to places you go every day ("Set up home and work addresses for Driving Directions.") It also promises to be the fastest way to determine whether or not you're a loser, and will tell you what time it is (so long as you already know what time zone you're in.) Kind of a mixed bag of functionality.
Over on the J-Walk, John wondered why it might be free. My guess, after reading the user agreement for the number, is that it's a harvesting service. It gathers your phone number when you call and other information (which the EULA 'obligates' you to provide truthfully) when you register. Then, even if they don't transfer you to a third party while you're on the line, it looks like you're on the hook to be called later. To my eye it looks like an even more desperate version of infone, whose B-list celebrity studded commercials clutter daytime cable.
They do have a privacy policy, but it covers them while allowing the third parties providing their funding to do whatever they like: "We neither guarantee that Service Providers will adhere to suitable privacy standards nor accept responsibility for their policies, information practices or other actions. You alone are responsible for any information that you provide to third parties." My reccomendation--don't call in the first place, unless you recognize that you're trading your personal information in return for telling Sean Connery to double down.
With the rise of no-call lists, commerce via telephone appears to be going all Eddie Haskell on us. "Glad I could help, Mrs. Cleaver. Want to buy some band candy?" Much like email, everyone will soon need to be careful to whom you give your phone number and even who they call. Sure, the EULA and privacy policy are in place, but does Joe Q. Public know any of those details (and that they are agreeing to and bound by them) when they call after seeing the number on the side of a bus?
I'm wondering if the soon-approaching era of number portability (woo hoo!) won't be accompanied or followed by an era of number disposability where the invitation to open a chain of communication with an individual expires when they cycle to a new number. It seems a distinct possibility as disposable cel phones start to hit the shelves.
Amazing reproductions in Lego of Escher pieces: "Relativity", "Balcony", "Ascending and Descending", and "Waterfall" (via Making Light.) All are the work of Lego expert Andrew Lipson.
From his site, you can jump over to LUGNET, the website of the Lego Users Group Network. There you can search the Lego Set Database for any set ever created, browse through the Brickshelf Library of old instructions and catalogs, work on Lego-themed crossword puzzles.
On LUGNET's Lego newswire, people post the latest Lego news and links to their latest projects. There's a pretty amazing diversity of work being done: Lego poems, 1:1 scale nativity scenes, the inevitable Lego Homer Simpson, stunningly complex spacecraft (don't miss the rest of bldesign), Lego soccer balls, and even Lego electric guitars.
Amazing stuff. I'm glad to see that the Lego trufans share my disdain for the custom parts that infect modern sets.
All of which is a fine segue to pass along the news I received from Gamelab the other day--they've completed a new game over on the official Lego site. Go check out Inventor Saves the Day. I mean, it's got Lego monkeys in it and everything. And coming from Gmlb, it's also a lot of Incredible Machine-like fun.
Friday, September 19, 2003
Two links o' interest from the Mefi blue: visions of the mind's eye from little ones listening to Radiohead, summoning up horrors more terrible than the Sargasso Sea. And a landlubber responds to those who confuse him with the Dread Tony Hawk of plankriding fame. I knows the feeling--many a time I've been confused for Laurens Cornelis Boudewijn De Graff meself.
Thar be no need for chasin' the light money no more, buccaneers! O'er on the J-Walk I be finding a link to the Monopoly website, where any enterprisin' seadog can print up their own money. Now all I needs to do to intercept a packet ship with someone who can reads the language of acrobats--after that the next round at the Cheshire Cheese is on me!
Via the Good Ship Metafilter comes news of Magnatune. "We're a record label," says the site. "But we're not evil." Their argument be supported by a distinct lack of flogging and keelhauling. Not that keelhauling be evil. Just a misun'erstood method for captains to keep rowdy crews from the odd mutiny or two. I'll leaves that story for when you're buyin', though...Thursday, September 18, 2003
Atten, me hearties! There just might be doubloons in store for anyone who can tell me precisely what's going on over at ultrablognetic! Stranger than a parrot on double rum tot it is, and with more stolen images than John Rackham hisself...
(We have) considered and rejected nearly every possible good and service under the sun. Our dedication to nothing has consistently ensured our leadership role for zero growth businesses the world over. With today's new internet-based business models taking all kinds of crazy risks with other people's money, we have always kept close to our roots. We hate to gloat, but as we see more and more businesses turning to our time-honored model, we can't help it."
Avast! Read ye the website of the Utica Drop Forge & Tool Company and the work of its illustrious pair of proprietors or I'll make sure ye's safe with Duffy Jonah!
They had forgotten the shield-hung hull
Seen nearer and more plain,
Dipping into the troughs like a gull,
And gull-like rising again—
The painted eyes that glare and frown,
In the high snake-headed stem,
Searching the beach while her sail comes down,
They had forgotten them!
There was no Count of the Saxon Shore
To meet her hand to hand,
As she took the beach with a grind and a roar,
And the pirates rushed inland.
-- "The Pirates in England", Rudyard Kipling
Arr! Welcome to Talk Like a Pirate Day, bilge rats! Grab ye a pirate name and some pictures!
Best game tutorial text I've seen in a while, from Ghost Master:
Sure. Why not?
UPDATE: On a related note after glancing through the Ghost Master manual, a site that game-fan OD readers might be interested in checking out: the game's writing and design (though not production or publication) house International Hobo.
Michaelango's David is being restored amid much controversy. Though David is normally a pretty serene and tranquil guy, the scaffolding erected around the statue for the cleaners has given photographers the chance to shoot him from a few new angles...and frankly, he looks a little upset about something.
UPDATE: Don't miss what Jon found in the comments thread.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
"The __________ may display all of these characteristics, or some of them, or only one. Some may love a __________ like a brother, some may think their brother is a __________. What is incontrovertible is that for all of humanity, there are people that you would rather not have to deal with, and those people, throughout history, are the __________."
Fill in the blanks by reading this essay. (via Making Light)
Another hero leaps into the fray alongside the League of Lame Heroes*: it's Angle Grinder Man! Though I think he qualifies more for his costume than for his noble cause of freeing hapless motorists from the evil of wheel clamps.
* For those who have forgotten, the rest of the League consists of the Mystery Worshipper, Keyboard Woman, Bulletman, and Jetpack Johnny. In brightest day, in blackest night, they'll ... run out for sandwiches and stuff.
Playing card protocurrency, clown plates, chocolate pots, skeleton phones, waterproof Navajo blankets, thrown chairs, leather buckets, Hoosier cabinets, carpet balls, stick barometers, silverware-laden nef, Butterfield dials, driving putters, and micromosaics are among the plethora of historical and artistic curiosities waiting to be browsed on the fascinating Anteque-a-Day.Tuesday, September 16, 2003
"Blaine marked the end of his first week's imprisonment by dropping down a soiled nappy, much to the disgust of onlookers including singer Gloria Estefan. Earlier, some crafty person attached a box of burgers to a remote controlled helicopter and flew it round the box."
Via J-Walk, MSN's Blainewatch, keeping an eye on David Blaine's publicity/endurance/'magic' stunt as he hangs in a plastic "pod" over the Thames. More news can be had over via Blaine's official site and its Channel 4 partner site, including quotes from the Boy in the Box via the videocamera in the box broadcasting to the world. Which makes me wonder how 'isolated' Blaine can really be when he knows he can communicate with the outside world at any time and they can communicate with him via wackiness such as that described. Put him in the same box in an locked empty warehouse for 44 days, and then let's see how he handles it.
Of course, Blaine's already prepped himself for a big finish:
"I still predict that the really crazy part, the part that you really want to watch, will be day 32 to the end...I'll start losing my mind".
Brace yourself: broad-angle navel gazing ahead.
Dropping a couple CDs onto my Amazon wish list tonight, I was struck with the idea to see if there were any other "Seth Johnson"s with wish lists.
Turns out there are 20 of us.
Acing me out of pole position is my namemate from Webster, Florida, who is not only "LOONEY", "STRANGE", "GONE", and "MENTALLY DISTURBED", but is also daringly crazy enough to end a list with a comma rather than the traditional period. That is out there. He appears to have a strange fascination with Fiona Apple and horrible horror movies. However, his mom gets bonus points for wanting a book that will teach you how to make scratch and sniff watercolors. Too bad she wasn't the one who wanted Billy Jack.
Jumping down past the cyber-philosophy obsessed and the film student, you can find a geek after my own heart (though I think I'd borrow his Next Generation DVDs rather than buying them myself.) Then there are some regional namemates--someone who likes graphic design and photography in Saint Paul and a short list from northern Wisconsin.
I empathize with Enzo's owner; his list shows the same kind of Amazon burst-behavior in which I occasionally indulge--novels one day, cookbooks the next, Babar the day after that. Next a hyphenate who wants DVD players but doesn't tell anyone where to send them; there speculative psychoanalysis waiting to happen there, right? Certainly there is with the "self-styled ruler of the universe", who should really read Sun Tzu and Miyamoto before he actually believes he's controlling things behind anyone's backs.
Skimming through the rest reveals interesting wishes including a Segway, nothing (twice), Competition Car Suspension: Design, Construction, Tuning, someone who's probably a big fan of the Sherman Brothers, a lot of interesting-looking mystery literary theory, 1001 Brilliant Ways to Checkmate (honestly, can they all be brilliant?) and books to enrich.
Looking over all these lists, I wonder which represent things that the Seths really want, that they're just waiting to get as birthday or holiday gifts. Which are just lists of passing fancies? And what's with the 'Elecric' Sword?
I do know, however, that there are some things on my own list that have been there for more than two and a half years. That seems beyond the boundary between Wishes and Didn't Really Want Anyway. I'll leave those latter pages up for a few days, to give this post context and to allow you to make your own speculations about me based on my wish list.
Then it's time for some housekeeping.
While wandering the website of the terrific jazz bank The Flying Neutrinos I found a link to the site of The Floating Neutrinos, a group that's been building rafts out of scraps and sailing them around the world. Don't miss reading about some of the challenges involving in building the boats, what it's like taking a raft to sea, and about their current project sailing a catamaran around the Caribbean. I'm tempted to go join them right now...Hey! Jon got quoted in an article on Creepy Freaks in the Boston Globe!
He lives in Seattle, he's in the Boston papers. I'd say that meets the definition of 'famous'.
Monday, September 15, 2003
Every have one of those days where you're just on? I had a productive day at work, a productive evening working on some freelance writing (writing more tonight than I did all last week combined), and managed to post more than a couple times here.
Last night was the first night in more than a week that I got my full eight hours of sleep. Coincidence? I'll let you figure it out--I'm going home to get another eight hours.
Pretty cool: Tapestry, a collection of RSS feeds for online comics. Featuring the greatest little button I've seen in a while:
A prankster turns himself in to the RIAA:
JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?
RIAA: Hold on just a sec.
(via J-Walk)
Once again Verisign is up to no good. This time they've pointed all null .com and .net DNS addresses to their own search engine (and advertising opportunity.) Without a doubt, more grist for the Verisign sucks mill.
Via J-Walk, a great collection of nineteeth-century advertising. Graphic at left from an ad for "The Soldier's Bullet Proof Vest". The collection is part of HarpWeek, which is a bit of interesting online history through the eyes of Harper's Weekly. Looks like it will definitely be worth digging into.As Self-Aggrandizement put it: Film theory is crap. Thankfully, I've forgotten just enough of my film classes to have a lot of fun working on screenplays and storyboards.
"The following is a history of every item you have purchased with your QCard."
My life is enriched now that such things are tracked by my regular lunch haunt. In return for carrying the card around in my wallet (a topic in hot discussion vis a vis game stores on an industry mailing list I'm on), I get every eleventh burrito free!
Oh, and I had to give them a bunch of half-truths, too. They can keep track of how often I visit and what I buy, but I'll be damned if I was going to give them my household income or phone number...or my real first name, or birthday, or zip code; I try to be as hard to demograph* as possible.
* If, indeed, "demograph" is actually a word.
Over on Joho the Blog*, download an amazing harmonica rendition of "Amazing Grace" by Howard Levy (via BoingBoing)
* While there, don't miss helpful hints on how to survive a nuclear attack if all you have is a hat. Or a plowed field. Either might be helpful, apparently.
"GEN. WESLEY K. CLARK is a hot topic in the chat rooms and clubhouses of Democratic politics, where pundits and activists are sizing up his possible presidential candidacy. More than $1 million and 13,000 volunteers have been pledged as part of an online movement to draft General Clark, the former NATO supreme commander and CNN military analyst, to enter the 2004 race.
But right now, General Clark wants to talk about bicycles..."
DefenseTech's Noah linked to "Election Race? First, Check Out This Bike", a NYTimes story he wrote last week on Gen. Wesley Clark's bicycle company. It's a fine article. Go read it, then come back.
Okay. Back again? Take another look at the picture that tops the story:
You can check out the picture full size here.
One point apiece for each sign of Photoshopping you can tease out, Readers. Bonus score to anyone who scares up the original photos used pre-composite.
Ooo. An excellent LazyWeb request, for some automated way to bring links back from the dead using the Internet Wayback Machine. Wish I could help.
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