Words for the wise from the mouth of a fool.
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The weblog of Seth Johnson -------------- INKSLINGER.ORG -------------- OD ARCHIVES -------------- FEEDS Posts:  Shared Items:
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Saturday, August 16, 2003
A large online collection of antique labels and lithography, from cigar box and fruit case labels to seed packs and Maxfield Parrish bookplates. Browse around to find great miscellaney like a lithograph depicting a variety of German flagpoles the label for Victor Brand Macaroni (apparently the marathon runner's macaroni of choice) and plates depicting the original Teddy--as in Roosevelt--Bears (via the Speckled Paint archives.)
"I'm mid-twenties, perfectly normal and attractive, just a member of an insane, insane family."
Perfectly normal. Which is why she's posted an ad looking for an actor to pose as her boyfriend for two weeks. Of course, in the movie version they'll fall in love by the end of the two weeks.
Speaking of SA, reading over the ranks of the Fair and Balanced I spotted a post by "Legomancer", a name I recognize and remember (with a cool name like that, how could I forget?) from my SA days. Seems Legomancer has a blog, and anyone who like comics and LEGO must write a blog worth reading, right? Check out his post on the recently settled LEGO race issue.
Friday, August 15, 2003
The Photoshop Battle Royale has begun, with teams from SA, FARK, W1K and beyond pitting their skills in a no-holds-barred battle of digital manipulation. Entries are being posted in Round One: Alternate Sports (beware, dialup readers: many images await beyond that link.)Via Electrolite, Amy Langfeld's story from yesterday's blackout--where she found herself trapped in a subway underneath the city. After you read it, keep scrolling up for a great collection of Blackout-related links and more on-the-ground reports.
Hey! I got to direct a short recording session today! That was pretty fun.
That's why it's only late in the afternoon that I'm finally getting a chance to answer the Pointless Questions asked by John over on the J-Walk:
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone? We're talking paper, envelope, and stamp.
Do postcards count? I tend to send a lot of postcards when I'm traveling, although with the increasing ubiquity of Net cafes (not to mention distant friends with an open couch and Net access) even postcards are starting slip out of my travel habits.
I think the last letter I sent was to my grandparents more than six months ago. Wow. Makes me feel like I should go write another now, lest I slip totally into the apocalyptic future envisioned for us all in "21st Century Digital Boy" and "Red Barchetta".
Would you rather be a goldfish in a bowl with an opposite sex goldfish, or a single parakeet in a cage?
Well, the confinement issue is moot; both options keep me locked in. I think I'd go the fish route. I've always wanted to live somewhere with Roman columns or a Wizard's Castle, and the other fish (were my ichthyological attempts at woo to fail) would give me a sounding board for the big questions. Like what exactly it is we eat every day--skin flakes of the gods? Some sort of macrobiotic Frooty Pebbles? And why can't we get a nice, juicy earthworm every once in a while? I mean, all those horror stories can't be true...
How many clocks are in your house? And which is your favorite?
Five (stove, microwave, kitchen wall, bedroom alarm, bathroom). That seems like a lot of clocks for a one-bedroom apartment. It doesn't even count other devices I have that tell time--computer, stereo, cel phone, GPS unit.... Of those, my favorite would have to be the one on my kitchen wall. It was relatively cheap, yet it's still pretty stylish--black numerals on a clear disc set a few inches out from the wall. Late at night, when just the lights in my living room are on, it casts great shadows on the wall.
What would you do if you had all the tea in China?
A quick Google search hints at exactly how much tea we're talking about--somewhere in the neighborhood of 560,000 metric tons, assuming that if you cleaned out every warehouse and kitchen cabinet in the country you'd have about a year's production. That's a lot of tea. Especially considering that I don't drink tea.
I suppose the first thing I would do would be to start drinking tea. I would drink tea until I went completely mad. Phase Two would be selling enough tea at bargain basement prices to fund the rest of the plan. Step Gamma would be to lure Laurence Tureaud into my schemes and convince him to change his name to "Mr. Tea" as the cornerstone of my marketing plan. Then Operation Breakfast Soliloquy would begin: trained InkTea operatives would travel to every town in the continental United States with a population under 1,000 and stay in residence until everyone in the locality was an enthusiastic consumer of our product (Note that this phase would be subsidized by a reality game show, with cash prizes going to the first operative to 'teaify' their assigned location, and the chance for viewers to become operatives and join the game.) Every citizen of each town would be deputized into the "Tea Posse" and ride across the land selling our product (using only as much force is necessary) until our planned invasion of the top seven metro areas sometime in 2009. In case things would go awry, from day one Team PN6-5K will be hard at work constructing our Alaskan hideaway, Teatopia, to where we could retreat and construct orbiting laser satellites while we wait for our next chance to strike.
Oh, and somewhere along the way I'd smash the record for tea servings in a day in a massive event held somewhere like, say, the Minnesota State Fair. Mr. Tea would do the serving.
Certs. Breath mint, or candy mint?
Certs (and Tic-Tacs, for that matter) are a breath mint. Altoids and Wint-O-Green Life Savers are candy mints. Penguins are a necessity.
Thanks to John for the questions. Here are the rules for Pointless Questions, as laid out on the J-Walk: if you want Pointless Questions, email me. I will send you five Pointless Questions, the answers to which you will then post on your blog along with these rules and a promise to continue to process. It's like Pay It Forward, except less public service and more entertaining procrastination.
So who wants my questions? I promise that they'll be particularly pointless.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
The Weekly Standard accuses the staff of the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary of becoming "laxicographers" and undermining the strength of the English language by including words such as "funplex" and "McJob" in the eleventh edition (via Bookslut.)
If you've suffered me babbling on about the Hollywood Stock Exchange yet didn't really have any interest in playing fantasy stock market with movies, you might be interested in a new variant of the game with a more political bent: HSXElects. Now you can bet your imaginary money on a real horse in the California recall election.
(While we're talking about HSX, if I might talk directly to Glenn and Liana for a moment: you guys scare me. If you guys turn your money-making talents to real money, let me know. I want a ticket for that train.)
DEVO sells out...and loves every minute of it. Don't miss watching the ad in question. (via boingboing)
When Something Big happens, first I go to the major media and then I turn to Metafilter--a mix of FUD and on-the-spot information about today's Great Eastern Blackout. Apparently everything has come to a halt in NYC, and many of those not trapped in elevators and subways are leaving the city on foot (as shown at right and in these photos.)
UPDATES: Via boingboing, the link to an instant phonecame blog of pictures from folks in blackoutland . Via Instapundit, a map of North American power grids; it's pretty easy to see which ones have failed this afternoon (Also via IP, the FUD-but-likely-true comment "If it isn't terrorism, I bet al Qaeda is going to school on it.") Over on the Yeti, Matthew Baldwin fears he may be at fault. On the ground update and a few great pictures of the exodus by MeFi user Mo Nickles over on his site World New York.
While early reports say it was only a grid failure and not a terrorist attack, a MeFi user points to this Frontline report on the vulnerability of the power grid and the effects an attack might have on the country--as demonstrated today, to a degree.
While putting together the header above for Fair and Balanced Day tomorrow, I discovered an entire page of monkey postcards.
As it turns out, Dick Lightle's Collectable Postcards is a lot of fun to browse through in search of great old photography. I wish there were larger versions available, but I suppose if there were they wouldn't sell as many postcards. Well played, postcard company. Well played.
Forget Girls Gone Wild--here's a video I'd pay to see: Action Figure Block Party (via PCJM.) It's like Toy Story, except all the toys are above drinking age. And there's a band. Looks like there might be a cover charge, too.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
You blog long enough and people you like start taking notice. Starting with you, Regular Readers. Were there some sort of magic involved in the Internet you would each have the pie of your choice in front of you right now.
But I've finally been linked by two great blogs -- J-Walk (source of many OD links, so I'm glad I could provide one in return) and American Invisible (where you can see the results of remarkable creative perseverance, with two full novels posted and a third in progress. Long before LISTENER, AI was my inspiration for setting up a page to start a web-based novel.)
They--and many of you--have long been linked in my sidebar. It's not just there for me to run down every day, you know. You could--and should--be doing it yourself. There's good stuff waiting to be found.
""We calculated enough fuel for 38 hours," (he said), adding that the plane had just 51.1 millilitres of fuel remaining when it landed — enough for about 40 more minutes of flight. "It was real close."
Chad passes along the link to a picture of The Spirit of Butts Farm, the first model aircraft to make a transatlantic flight--1,888 miles/ 3,036 km (on two ounces of stove fuel per hour!), from Newfoundland to Ireland. Even more incredible, the plane landed less than 100 feet from where it was expected to arrive. The team's reports during the flight are great reading ("We still think there's a 50-50 chance of making it and we look forward to clucking cheerfully on Monday morning.")
The designer of the amazing plane is Maynard Hill (on the left side of the picture to the left, holding his aircraft), a retired Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Lab engineer with a lot of retired NASA buddies (I suspect this hill on NASA's simulated Mars project* is named after him) and a long and storied history of breaking records for model aviation. Now in his 70s, he's nearly blind and deaf, and has to dye his glue red so he can see while working on his planes. But he's got bigger plans to come. When he was asked before a 2001 attempt, Hill speculated as to what his next project might be: a flight around the world.
Wow.
* As a sidebar, note that the NASA Haughton-Mars Project Page is fascinating reading as well.
When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come and see!" And behold, a black horse, and he who sat on it had a balance in his hand. I heard a voice in the midst of the four living creatures saying, "A choenix of wheat for a denarius, and three choenix of barley for a denarius! Don't damage the oil and the wine!"
When he opened the fourth seal, I heard the fourth living creature saying, "Come and see! Outhouse Springs is now actually being bottled and sold! ... The great day of his wrath has come; and who is able to stand?"
Well, that's how Revelations would read if I had written it.
(Link via J-Walk)
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Via the Particles section of Making Light, it's The Complete Guide to Military Hand Signals
...Okay, no it isn't. Let's all have our laugh and then go study FM 21-60: VISUAL SIGNALS. 'Cause you never know when that kind of thing will come in handy.
We're getting the first season of Alias in a few weeks (and season two of 24 a week later.) I can (and will) buy that. But the second season before Christmas? Can anyone confirm this?
There's a potential date change in the works for GenCon 2004. If you're planning on attending, here's your chance to have (general) input.
"Hi,I sing strange a capella music.ENJOY!!"
Via Zusty, the weirdout sonic assault of Japanese acapella cover artist DOKAKA. Swing by IUMA and download a few tracks. You'll probably grab "Smells Like Teen Spirit" first, but don't pass up the megasized "Stevie Wonder Triple"--anything that uses Musiquarium as a springboard is already halfway to greatness. His cover of Slayer's "Angel of Death" is pretty amazing, too. Honest.
If you don't mind setting up a spamcatcher address so you can sign up, you can also get more Dokaka--including his Steely Dan, Led Zeppelin and Allman Brothers Band covers (a renaissance cover artist, this Dokaka)-- over on MP3.com
Finally, I'd like to say that he also has what might quite possibly be the best motto of any independent Net musician:
"Your Favourite Songs Can Now Be Your Favourite Hummings"
Awesome.
1. NO WHISTLING
2. NO FORGETTING TO SWAB
3. FIGHTING ONLY ON PORT SIDE
4. NO FIRST MATE SHALL GROW HIS BEARD LONGER THAN THE CAPTAIN.
--from THE CODE, in case you were wondering what they were referring to in Pirates of the Caribbean
Monday, August 11, 2003
I honestly try not to get didactic on OD, saving my proselytizing for other venues. But the story I've been fuming about for a week has started to spread online, and I would feel remiss if I didn't post something to indicate how upset I am.
"I think the hardest thing to believe is that Jesus (Castillo) was found guilty of selling an adult comic, from the adult section of the store, to an adult police officer, and convicted because the DA convinced the jury that all comics are really intended for children. I can't imagine a world in which the same argument would have worked for books or for films -- and I'm afraid that highlights why comics retailers (and artists and writers and publishers) still need a Defense Fund, and still need to be defended." -- Neil Gaiman
Last week the Supreme Court refused to hear Jesus Castillo's case, and as a result he was sentenced to 180 days in jail, a year probation, and a $4,000 fine. For, if I might repeat Gaiman and bold him, selling an adult comic to an adult police officer. Thus the only issue in the case became a value judgement of the material itself that was subjective and lay outside the letter of the law. And somehow, the prosecutor managed to push the case through.
I don't ask much of you, Faithful Readers, but I do ask this:
There's been a button over in the sidebar for a while now (now updated to this year's card art), but I link again because the CBLDF needs more of you. If you can spare twenty five bucks (tax deductible!) and care about freedom of creative expression in all mediums, I hope you join today.
Finally you can see what all your friends (might) have been talking about:
(on the website of game, film and TV composer Chris Tilton.)
Warren Ellis is following Cory Doctorow's lead and has begun writing a novel on a blog.
I might try the same thing in the near future...
Sunday, August 10, 2003
"My luck has been hit and miss today. On the negative side I made a couple of pretty bad mistakes at work ... but that was balanced out by the fact that I was practicing medicine under a false identity anyway, and I can always just "disappear" again like last time.
You're reading Tailors Today and Girls Are Pretty, right?
"You are clearly about to die. Use that. When someone for whom you care deeply asks if you care deeply for them, grab your belly and double over shouting, "Oh dear God, the pain, the pain, I am doubled over with pain, what did you just ask me?" Then fall to the ground and writhe. Then die."
An aspect of the celebrity-packed California gubernatorial recall election that I hadn't heretofore considered:
"Though you may see much more on Arnold and Gary Coleman in the coming weeks, you won't see their movies or TV shows on network television. The FCC prohibits us from airing their shows without giving their opponents equal time." -- Story from KESQ, Palm Springs CA
Or, as a Yahoo! News story put it:
"The Federal Communications Commission has advised California broadcast TV stations of the standing equal-time rules that say you can't show, say, Conan the Barbarian during election season without also running two-hours' worth of, say, "Diff'rent Strokes" reruns to satisfy candidate Gary Coleman or Melon Crazy to keep sledge-happy gubernatorial wannabe Gallagher from smashing something. The rule doesn't apply to cable networks, however, likely leaving TNT's weekly screening of Commando safe for now."
"Some things are so snazzy they never go out of style! Like tail fins... And bubble domes... And shag carpeting...I want a horn here, here, and here. You can never find a horn when you're mad. And they should all play `La Cucaracha'. You know that little ball you put on your arial so you can find your car in a parking lot? That should be on every car!"
"All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it. -- Homer Simpson
Get your own snap-kit model of the greatest car ever, that Powell Motors masterpiece known as "The Homer"! (via the Flangy News)
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