3:29 AM

A slightly snarky reaction to the ending of MGS2 (realy only a spoiler to MGS3 in the sense that the line of dialogue after the credits of MGS1 was a spoiler for MGS2):



Our view is blurry as the game begins, fading up from black to white, to a first-person view of a bucolic meadow. Off in the distance, we can see Confederate soldiers on the run from a giant, steam-powered Clockwork Gear.

SNAKE (VOICE OVER): Uhrm....I need a cigarette.

CODEC! CODEC! Please press Select!

OTACON: Snake! Are you there?

SNAKE: Yeah, I'm here. Where am I?

OTACON: Well, Snake, as it turns out..

((NOTE: Please have voice actors improvise about ten minutes of dialogue here on the general topic of Emersonian responsibility.))

OTACON: Well, good luck, Snake. Call me if you need help. My frequency is 867.5309.

Pull back out to rear view of Snake. Something's not quite right, but the camera is too close for us to see just what it is. As Snake stumbles toward a stream, he reaches in the general vicinity of his spine and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. Putting one in his mouth, he crouches to splash water on his face. The ripples on the surface settle, and a cigarette falls into the water...from the mouth of Jack.

SNAKE: Oh boy.


BEGIN SAGA SELL:

"Theorizing that conspiracies exisited beyond their lifetimes, Solid Snake and Doctor Hal Emmerich led an elite team of scientists into the desert to develop a top-secret project known as Quantum Gear."

"Pressured to start making sense of an endlessly twisting story or lose sales, Solid Snake prematurely stepped into the project accelerator....and vanished."

"He awoke to find himself in the past, unarmed except for the cigarettes he always kept up his ass and facing a mirror image that was that of his one-time protege Jack. Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained through CODEC conversations with Hal, the project observer, who contacts Snake in transmissions only he can see and hear."

"Trapped in the past, Solid Snake tracks one clone of Big Boss after another, destroying Gears that should have never existed, and hoping each time that the next plot twist will be the plot twist that takes him--home..."

BEGIN TITLES

METAL GEAR SOLID 3: QUANTUM GEAR


Okay, okay, I did like MGS2. But they were throwing some pretty loose threads around near the end, and that's the reaction I had to one of them.